He Replied! "My heart skips a beat"

I have been diligently (but discretely) monitoring my inbox since April, specifically for one purpose. It seems I'm in a state of indecision again. I don't know why I keep putting myself into this situation, time and again. Excitement and disappointment, worry and ecstasy. Perhaps I'm still searching for my true calling. Or perhaps I don't trust myself that I could go far with the path I am/will be taking.

At times, I wonder is this all worth it. As at the end of the day, we will meet the Maker and present our final report for His evaluation. People say that it is not the destination but the journey that is important. But this 'journey' that they talk about, what are the elements that make it matter? Do I choose to climb the ladder or to stay on the ground, humbly walking in His footsteps or is there a middleground between the two?

Anyway back to my original motive for this post. I had sent what I call my "love letter" to a person early last month, hoping for a reply - be it a yea or nay - to put me out of my misery of suspense. I didn't get a reply. An event middle this week pressured me to get a reply, by hook or by crook. And with suggestions from a close friend, I rephrased my "love letter" and yesterday made a second attempt to approach the said person. To my surprise, he did reply me - today, just moments ago.

The fact that he replied, and so soon, has thrown me off-guard. Nevermind that the content of his reply was neither positive nor negative! In all outcomes, I thank God for replying my little prayers.

Now, my task of penning a good reply to his further enquiry (and some more prayers) will determine the fate of our correspondence.

I ask myself again - is this really what I want? And my silent reply is - I think so, it would be an experience I never dared to dream I could have.

Anyway, this Lenka song (only the "my heart skips a beat" parts) describes what I felt when my inbox refreshed with a new mail. So drama! haha either that or because I've been brainwashed by Star World's repetitive playing of that MV.

update: a reply from him at 7.30am (the next day after I sent my reply) - he is willing to accept me! PTL! Now for the next hurdle...