Saturday, February 24, 2007

I wake up and there's a car blocking my house entrance, this is a letter I'd like to (but didn't) leave on the offensive car windshield!

Dear car owner,

While trying to drive MY car out of MY house, I found that MY gate was blocked by YOUR car. Upon honking countless times, there seem to be no human being laying claim to the obstructive car. So now I'll proceed in helping you to understand your mistakes and point out possible solutions if this situation was to happen to you again in the future. Think of this letter as a community service.

Firstly, please don't flatter yourself that your car is big and long, because it isn't - it's just a marroon proton wira aeroback! not a humvee or limo, mind you! Plus there is plenty of space behind where you could easily park your car without blocking anybody's gate. A simple effort of reversing your car by a mere 2 feet would have avoided you from receiving this cordial insult! After all, how much petrol would you save from not reversing your car? I'm sure that a cow's flatulence would have made an even bigger effect on global warming than the exhaust fumes from your car (as a result of reversing it by 2 feet). So there's no reason for you to be environmentally defensive with me (although anyone would smell it out as just an alibi to get yourself off the hook).

If in any case you couldn't find a place to park without offending strangers, you could consider parking in front of your host's gate - after all, he/she is the one who invited you, NOT ME!!! So please refrain from torturing me with your presence.

I feel really sorry for your incorrigible driving skills. I blame the driving schools for not equiping you with the knowledge of reversing your car and also your kindergarten teacher who could not teach you morals and ethics. Perhaps you could remedy this by consuming cow dung as maybe that would give you a little bit of cow sense. Besides it's still new year, so maybe you should consider starting it as anything but a selfish halfwit.

Good luck in your future parking endeavours. I sincerely hope that you have seen (through this letter) my good intentions for the betterment of your mind and driving skills!

Have a good day and remember it's never too late to learn something new!

A neighbour who's out to irradicate imbecility amongst Malaysians.

P.S: I do not think that this will offend you, as I have refrained from using any harsh or swear words in this letter. Enjoy!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Impromptu test 1

i just came from my impromptu speaking test 1, which is the first assessment i've had for the 'spoken english for professionals'!!! goodness, i hate any form of public speaking be it in a small group or in a stadium with audience as far as the eye can see!! sometimes i feel that having the mindset of "i'm gonna screw this up big time" actually serves as a good luck charm for me to perform better than i think i can... this is really weird as you know, everyone says that you have to be confident (although you may be crapping your way through the ordeal) to project confidence and confidence is what will bring you success! somehow this seem to be the opposite for me...

my topic (which i fished out of a brocade bag filled with stips of paper containing many different speech topics) was "mobile phones are a neccessity!" i admit it wasn' a very challenging topic, but thank God!!! He gave me one that i was not an absolute ass about! so i just scribbled whatever i could think of in the 1 minute preparation time that was given... the normal stuff... emergency situation, improve on social skills, international calls cheaper, GPRS tracking technology (with aunty L's lost in the jungle case in mind)... when i started, i was crapping away trying to prolong the time... then i remembered how mobile phones were in the past... like a portable brick (or pile of bricks... to be more precise). anyway, what i noticed was that i talk a hell of a lot more faster when i'm nervous... i hope i did not add in the 'umm's and 'ermm's... but at the end of it, i think that i did not do too bad (in fact i think i did better than what i was expecting)... so i guess i'm happy today!

Friday, February 02, 2007

The Long weekend

so last week was my birthday... it was on a friday and usually my fridays are free from classes and other uni activities, but somehow my 'speaking english for professionals' replacement class was scheduled on that particular friday... as everyone was working, i had to follow dad to pj in the morning and stay in uni till 5p.m. as mum was not free to pick me up earlier... my class was from 1 till 2.30p.m. ... luckily the night before, around midnight, YC and i made arrangements to go to midvalley megamall for an early lunch. after my class, BY invited me to her house... so we spent the afternoon watching tv and talking... mum came at 6p.m. and we got stuck in a massive jam on the federal highway. so that was my 22nd birthday!

i can't believe i'm 22 already! it's so surreal... time really does fly... it spirals into infinity and before you know it, you're old and done for. i think this is a trdition that i keep every time it comes to this time of the year... however i can't help noticing that i'm getting too numb/jaded for my age... that is, if the happy carefree disposition of my friends are really what they are or just a front...