Friday, September 28, 2007

Realisation or just killing time?

what am i to do? i was reading back my past posts (when i'm supposed to be studying for 3 tests next week) and i've realized that i really like writing (not 'tulisan' but 'penulisan')! although i must admit that more often than not, my posts have a tinge (or rather smothered) of sarcasm... it's shocking how sarcastic i've become... i used to think i didn't have that streak in me... but i guess its just genetics... just like that little depression/dimple some of my family members have on the base of the arch of our ears...

another thing i really enjoy doing is image editing and designing stuff... i could work on these things for more than 24 hours and still feel satisfaction... but give me 3 hours of mugging for a biochem exam exhausts me... with the exception of situations when i really delve myself into the subject and see the brighter side of what i've learned through the semester... i can say that i enjoyed studying pharmacology, DNA recombinant technology and plant biochemistry since i majored in biochem. although i must admit that i can't really remember what i studied if you were to ask me about it now...

are my interests a sign for my true calling? or are they just really strong affinities that i have for what would be an absorbing and fulfilling hobby?

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Grrrhhh... go ahead make my day!

what can you do when you are just so bl***y sick and tired of a person but can't get away? the situation's boiling and i can just feel a fatal spark is about to ignite an inextinguishable fire. just itching for a big blow up... something must be very wrong with one who just has to have a self-pitying period which ends with a massive quarrel every 6 months or so. if you are such a sensitive person (and no one is allowed to hurt your feelings), then could you please take care of how you treat others? this world isn't about taking, taking and more taking... how can you expect to receive anything if you don't give? nowadays, i feel it's best not to dwell on things too deeply because it'll all just boil down to "life isn't rosy, in fact it's full of rattling skeletons". maybe it's just me, letting things get to me... other people seem to not give a rat's ass about these things. there's just so much sh** i can put up with... and it's just so sad to say that part of the problem has arised because of the internet and all the poison that it has to offer. new users are just so gullible and 'over their dead body' would they admit to that... and so they proceed in trying to spread their poisoned mindset to anyone who will listen. not to forget that they pity (not compassion) and condemn those who refuse to be poisoned. how can one condemn every person they encounter just because they are not of the same thinking/intelect? isn't that a clear sign that one is self-righteous and doesn't practice what he preaches? one has no right to pass a judgement on another and declare that his is the ultimate and absolute correct judgement. if one has that mindset, then that person is implying that he is greater than God. and to proclaim that one still believes in God (but still maintain that mindset), is just contradicting oneself. it is so sad to see how warped a person's mind can become... negativity, delusional and inferiority complex... i've seen this in many elderly people. i think it's something that you grow into as life takes its toll on a person. you don't realise you're turning into that person until its too late and you are totally immune to yourself and think that the world is out to get you... that every person you set your eyes on are scheming to ruin your little comfort bubble. i mean, if you actually think about it, you are just like a speck of dust in the population of the world... do you think that you are worth the effort and time of millions of people around the world to plan your downfall? my theory is if you don't bitch with people, more often than not they won't bitch with you! if you don't give a person reason to hate you, they will not hate you. again, it's about giving and receiving. you give others a hard time, they'll give you back a hard time.

i started this post feeling really pent up with anger over an incident. but thankfully now i feel better and the hatred has subsided. i guess i'm not one who can talk my problems out with a person. whenever i do that, i just get more aggravated... e.g. the YV'07 concert incidents... still get that "omg, i can't believe that could ever happen!" kind of feeling. i prefer just writing in riddles so i can prove my point without actually revealing my problem... and only i will be able to understand what's all this ramblings about.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Photos of Bali

Hotel restaurant view, Candidasa
Our Bali driver's son & his dog (we visited his home)
Our hotel in Nusa Dua
Hotel Majapahit, Surabaya
Our first view of Surabaya - housing area abandoned because of flood (a few years ago)
Mini lanes of the Furama villas, Ubud
'Santai-santai' hut and the pool in Furama, Ubud
Our messed up room in Furama, Ubud
Nice view in Candidasa
The cheapest hotel we lived in for this trip (in comparison with the others), Candidasa
Paddy field
'Sapi' not 'lembu'
Dolphin viewing at Lovina
Pura ... something
Vegetable market
Ijen Resort, Surabaya
View from Kawah Ijen
Sulfur lake at Kawah Ijen
At the foot of Kawah Ijen
3 of us holding a bunch of edelweiss

Peek >o<

the other day i heard a radio dj saying that he always starts his blog posts with an apology for his blog's inactivity... and i really identified with that! i dare not count how many times i've neglected this blog and feebly revived it with an opening line such as "my blog has died for the last 3 months..." etc. but honestly, nowadays i find myself having very little free time to blog let alone sleep... and when i do have the time, i won't have the mood to compose a post... so i have no choice but to let history repeat itself again and again... i'm sure this blog is already immune to the inconsistent activity of its author.

then what caused this streak of luck that i should blog today? it is because i'm stuck in uni with my laptop and 2 out of 3 classes canceled for the day... with nothing desirable to do, i resorted to this blog...

i can't recall what i wrote in my last post, but i'm guessing it's something about my industrial training in permulab. well, that has ended about 2 months ago with not too bad memories... i did learn alot albeit not biochemistry related (at all!)... learnt more about common lab practice there than i've ever learned in school... however i've also learned that professionalism only extends up to a certain extent, that sometimes it's best to ignore the tiny details and just get the job done. the work atmosphere at that company reminds me of LK' first job (of course his was very much worse) and makes me wonder whether the work ethics and workers' mentality differ in a larger organisation. lately, any sort of talk or thought about working sends "worry" impulses throughout my neural system. i hope that this is the common worry of final year students. however, most of my close coursemates are planning to further their studies... as for myself, i'm not sure whether i have the determination and drive to carry on studying.

pushing that aside, i went to bali right after my industrial training (right before uni started) with BY and her friend. it was quite good but we spent most of the time traveling in the car and most of our money went to transportation fees. however we managed to travel practically all around the island and stayed at 5-6 star hotels. we flew to surabaya and climbed mount ijen to see the volcanic sulfur lake. it really gave me a culture shock. i thought that surabaya was one of indonesia's largest cities and the route we took gave us an impression that it was a backward and wayward place. but on the last day when we traveled back to surabaya from bali, we managed to see the developed part of the city (perhaps it was the city centre since there were quite a few good hotels near our hotel majapahit). we even managed to visit their mall... it was not so different from what we have in malaysia. but one thing i noticed is that the indonesian chinese are usually found in the malls and there's quite a drastic class segregation between the 'have's and the 'have not's. and it took us almost forever to cross the road to our hotel... there were so many cars!!! and ever so many toyota vios cabs! i can't believe they use vios as cabs and here, it costs so darn expensive... thanks to our import taxes! so i guess, what we saw on our first day was the outskirts of surabaya... the villages and slum area.

then we took a ferry to bali and started our tour at lovina, the to ubud, candidasa, and finally to nusa dua, where we visited the nearby kuta. kuta is like what we imagined bali would be like. it definitely is a tourist hotspot and everything there is catered for tourists and not the locals. all the branded outlets were having sales... were they genuine labels? i don't know. we bought most of our souvenirs there because we could choose in peace without someone nagging us to buy their overpriced goods.

candidasa was pretty uneventful... the view was good but there was no beach for us to stroll on and the waves were quite savage especially at night. in ubud we stayed at the best hotel, furama villas and spa. we had our own private villa with a swimming pool and an outside hut to "santai-santai". the service was very good too! come to think of it, when we were at lovina we stayed in our private villa too. but the service there wasn't as good. the front desk lady was very beautiful but pretentious... both villas had outdoor shower areas (meaning that there are walls but no ceiling)! we managed to see jumping dolphins at lovina... however when we reached the shore, we were swamped by the local pedlars (most were small children) begging us to buy their nick-knacks... i felt very hassled in bali!

ubud was like petaling street just that they sell more souvenir stuff and the sellers either practically beg you to buy their stuff or start mocking you out loud and right at your face. i spotted many malaysians there. i think malaysians enjoy bargain hunts but i personally don't like it... perhaps it's due to my lack in the bargaining skills department. in fact, we got cheated on everything we bought at ubud! so the enjoyable part of ubud was the hotel... we also managed to catch an evening performance of a traditional dance/play. the storyline was one of the legend stories that we studied in 'komsas' (bm literature) in form 4 or 5... we also tried the famous 'bebek bengil' restaurant which was only mediocre, slightly expensive and where the cashier wanted to cheat us of our change. but i'll give them credit for their layout and deco/landscaping... pretty interesting with a mini paddy field, fish ponds and an open-air concept with dim lights and colourful cushions at the 'bersila' booths.

finding our way back from bali to surabaya was scary. we did not have enough money to hire a charter van to ferry us from the ferry jetty to our surabaya hotel (10 hrs ride) and our bali charter driver warned us that there are more bad people in surabaya than in bali. so we had to be careful... our only option left was to take the public bus at night. thank God we met a nice indonesian lady on the ferry who actually accompanied us in the old junk taxi van (with a very rough looking driver) to the bus station before going home. luckily we took the bus that did not stop anywhere along the way. we reached surabaya city early in the morning and were bullied into taking a taxi to our hotel. but praise the Lord that we actually arrived in one piece and safe at our hotel majapahit. so that was pretty much what i remembered from the trip (in brief).

so now it's back to classes and assignments in uni. i've started my final year project which is gene walking of pseudomonas pha synthase gene. my friend and i are on the same project and our lecturer supervisor handed us to her phd student. so this phd student is our mentor and she has been so patient with us. again, my project has nothing to do with biochemistry... it's more bout microbiology and genetics. our chemical shopping list is so expensive that both our rm500 allowances has been exhausted and we still have reagents to purchase... so far, we've done two rounds of polymerase chain reactions (pcr) and our gel electrophoresis results are terrible... we don't have enough bands! and it's so tiring for us to walk to the postgraduate studies centre to do our lab work! i hope the exercise will do good for my overall health! although i'll be stinking up the antartic lab everytime i go there...