Sunday, September 28, 2008

Exasperated in trust

i'm finding it very hard to trust people lately. it seems like everytime i put my trust in someone, that person will bail out on me (in chinese, the term is "ffk" which stands for "fong fei kei" or literally translated as "board aeroplane"... don't ask me how the term originated!?!). these past few weeks i've made a couple of plans with different friends to meet up and i can say that 70% of them didn't materialise! and it's always last minute cancellations! it's like you're looking forward to eating this food and it gets snatched away as you're just about to grasp it!

i've found, with this one particular friend, that i can never arrange a successful meetup... she's really a nice person, but even if we scheduled a meeting two weeks ahead, she'd always end up having some trip or another gathering - affectively cancelling our outing. i don't know, perhaps she prioritizes another (unsaid) group of friends. after all, she is closer to them... but i hope it's not because she doesn't want to meet up with us.

i have another friend, a coursemate, whom i think doesn't want to mix with us (four of us used to lunch together and sit together in classes) anymore as she always declines invitations for meetups. i think the cause of this alienation was due to some subtle fallouts all of us had with each other as a result of too much close contact with each other. however, the rest of us did not think too much of these fallouts and just forgave and forget those akward moments. i guess it is different for different people. but it's such a pity that 2 years of friendship would go to the dogs just because of some untactful words and deeds said and done...

another incident of trust... i shall need to be vague here. my trust in people have gotten me into "hot soup" a couple of times. by "hot soup" i don't mean it as a vey serious problem, but it has resulted in my reputation being slightly marred. being blamed for something you didn't do isn't something that i desire. and i feel that it isn't quite a smart move to rat on people... it's something like biting the hand that feeds you. thankfully evidences are aplenty and if one were to look properly, it would point to the truth. that's why sometimes i prefer to do everything myself! which is obviously not a "work smart" tactic!

My first accident

this is embarrassing to say, but i met with a traffic accident on my second day of driving solo. i was coming back from work and it was just after the junction in sunway where the petting zoo used to be (i think it's now lake quay), when it happened. i was on the left slow lane when suddenly there was this black proton wira cutting in front of me (or overtaking... ) from the right. i did not see her till it happened. in fact i had slowed down upon seeing this black mass at the corner of my eyes and when she cut in front of me, i honked. but it was too late, a collision occurred.

i had slowed down while she was speeding up, so naturally her car got the worse of the damages. my car had scratches on the frontal right side of my bumper... a little dislodged but nothing out of shape or cracked. anyway that bumper had been re-sprayed before when mum rammed it into the concrete block at the science fac foyer. whereas the lady's car had a long dent on her left back door. she kept insisting i was in the wrong... and at one point i really thought i was in the wrong... but after pondering upon it for a week and revisiting the place of the incident everyday (can't be helped, since i use that road to go home everyday), i'm convinced that i was on my lane... therefore i should have the right of way!

anyway, we started out arguing with raised voice... but not abusive words or physical battle la... but in the end we parted on a friendly note, exchanging contact numbers and apologising for shouting earlier... it was really weird... but i'm glad that it wasn't such a traumatising incident... perhaps it didn't turn all sour because she was also a christian? i saw her take out a bible to prop her piece of paper for taking down my details... and i asked her if she was a christian... then we started talking about church... so weird!!! in the middle of an accident and cars buzzing by... and we're talking about church! anyway, praise God! she wasn't hostile to me when she called me up to ask about what arrangements we should have. i told her i hadn't had time to get a mechanic's quotation and she was the same too. then she said we'll keep in contact... and until now she hasn't called me (it's been 1 month now)

i really do hope that she realises i was not to blame... people make mistakes. be thankful it was just a minor accident and no bodily harm occured. i hope she doesn't call me up asking for payment... (fingers crossed)

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


change is good. it forces you out of your comfort zone, thus pushing you to grow.

so much change have been happening in my life. i've finally started driving, having only 3 days of practice with mum before venturing out alone. i've started working as a copywriter in an environment where i'm the only female in the company (something that i am really not used to). and before that, i was going for interviews in kl, pj, shah alam and even in singapore.

let me begin my narrative in a chronological order. the first interview i went for was for the company i'm currently attached to. it was more of a writing test than an interview and there wasn't a ready vacancy for me, so the ceo said i had to wait till their funds permitted the hiring of another staff. with that hopeless situation practically a dead end, i went for my second interview. it was the 1st phase recruitment for the standard chartered banking apprentice programme. at the end of my interview, the interviewer said she would definitely recommend me for the 2nd interview. a friend of mine also went for the same inerview, and she had seen my name in the shortlisted list. however the call never came, so i guess that too is a lost cause. thinking back, i wonder whether the reason why i wasn't called back was because i have a standard chartered bank account (conflict of interest?).

the next interview was at an insurance company in kota kemuning. they had found my resume from JobsDB and called me to schedule an interview. they offered me the job (some assistant marketing exec) for the salary i requested, provided i proved myself within the probation period. i turned down that job as they needed an answer immediately and i had already scheduled another interview in singapore.

i went for the phase 1 mgtp assessment session for maxis. it was really different from the other interviews i'd went for, as the assessment was split into 2 sections, written tests and group dynamics. i think i screwed up the written test, especially the comprehension and essay parts. for the group dynamics, our team of 4 did not quite gel, so we could not complete the task given to us. however, i managed to make a friend from the session... i thought she had the most potential among the 4 of us (in getting through to the 2nd phase), but she didn't get it. needless to say, i didn't get through either.

the singapore interview was pretty disappointing as i had had a wrong impression of the job i applied for. it was advertised on Jobstreet with a legal recruitment firm for company profile but they were looking for a graduate trainee in the biotechnology field. i thought it was a HR company recruiting for another biotech company (like some other ads on these job websites). however, it turned out to be an internal recruitment, meaning they were looking for headhunters. the interviewer was patronising, immediately telling me i've got the wrong impression of the job i was being interviewed for (before i even said a word... maybe she could have told me that before i spent hundreds of ringgit to get to singapore!) but i must give her credit for answering my many questions although it was clearly a goner case.

so after some more meetings with my first 'interviewer', i accepted the job and am currently working as a 'creative copywriter' (as the very detailed job contract states, although i don't really see why the word "creative" should be in the job title since i'm not really doing those advert copywriting...). i had to reject 2 interviews - the first was for the post of medical writer in an international medical media company and the second was from Kraft (and this i had to reject because my boss was sitting right next to me when i recieved the call! what luck!?!)