Just when I thought I had reached my comfort cloud, a crack of thunder occurs. Promising a bumpy ride for 2018.
In a way I do agree with everyone whom I've consulted in, I should take this change positively, as an opportunity to grow. After all, this isn't the first time I've felt this lost. I've gone through changes twice in my previous place and well, I will go through it again this year. I guess what scares me is the unknown, the unexpected and the responsibility/liability of the decisions I will make.
And on the longer term perspective, my worry of the crossroads I will inevitably face in a year or two. What should be my next step, whether it should be something completely new or continue on in my field or taking on a whole lifestyle uprooting. A part of me knows that I would probably take the safer known road but I am having bouts of reflection on whether I really enjoy what I do.
I like it when it goes well (who doesn't right?). But seems like I can't avoid having these Jonah days where everything possible goes wrong - every typo error made months ago unknowingly surfaces to bite you in the butt on a single day. Sometimes I really don't get it how I could make such mistakes, even after re-checking and proof reading it. There has got to be some sort of process improvement which I can consciously implement in my work practices. People say that I am detail-oriented but still such slip ups occur and I am just dumbfounded.
2018 is starting out rough and unfortunately I have been feeling rather negative for the past week or so. I can't stop thinking about the immediate future and my tears keep threatening to pour (but haven't yet, thankfully). I know I've got to get over myself and this stubbornness to embrace change. I've got to pull my act together and be confident of my decisions.
I need to up my motivation and get excited for the challenges ahead. Now, how do I that?
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