Sunday, May 12, 2013

Between being a better person and being hypocritical

Sometimes you may meet someone or have a spiritual enlightenment, which makes you want to be a better person. And it is as true as day that for real change to occur, it has to come from one's self. No one can change another person if that person has not decided to change himself.
As everyone else I'd imagine, I have had my fair share of people coming in and out of my life. Some remain and some drift in for a short transit before moving on. There are a few who have made me want to be a better person and to be specific, one particular acquaintance who made me become aware of and realise my responsibility/obligation to my country and the community. Who that person is, I will not disclose but I will remember the impact that was made, although there were other memories less favourable. The key is to pick up the good and do away with the bad.

Another life changing event that occurred many many years ago was when I came to know the Lord. Accepting Him as my God and Saviour has actually made me check myself every time I'm faced with a challenge. Yes, the innate drama queen in me goes on a rampage every now and then, but I can safely say that after things cool down, He reasons with me and makes me see whether I was being unreasonable or not. He convicts me whether I had done wrong and forces me to be level-headed. Whether or not I take remedial action thereafter is another story in itself, and the blame there lies solely on myself - I admit.

Anyway back to the point I wanted to make. I see many people profess that they had changed after meeting so-and-so, falling in love changes a person, she/he has changed me etc. Yes, all that sounds so uplifting and
noble, but how far is it true?

I find that too many people just talk a lot but don't walk the talk. In front of their partners, they are all holy and 'changed' but away from their partners, they are back to their old habits. What can I say, old habits die hard. Isn't that just so hypocritical? Therefore I don't believe that love alone can change a person. A person can be in love and desire to be a better person but deep down resists the change, and so the 'change' we see is just external/cosmetics.

Isn't it then hypocritical to pretend to do good when it is not in your nature to respond in that way and you know it to be so? You know that you're not acting like your true self and isn't that just lying to your ownself of who you truly are? And every time you do something good, you will ask yourself whether this was coming from your true self or whether it was done to garner favour from someone. I really wonder how can some people live a double life and claim to be "changed".

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