Sunday, June 17, 2012

All Nervous and Making a Fool of Myself

Dissatisfaction has been growing lately. None directly impacting me but I can foresee what the future is going to be like, especially come August. And because of this knowledge, I decided to explore other opportunities. With very little related experience, I was doubtful as to whether I would be given a chance to prove myself. But I wanted a change, and the only person who could give me this change was ME.

I must admit that I was pretty surprised when I received feedback from all the "opportunities" I was exploring. And all at the same time. From previous experience, I was keeping my expectations at around 3-4 weeks for any replies. But I was wrong this time, and have been in a tense mode for the past three days. I hope I did make a good impression in all the appointments.

Personally I felt that I did badly for one particular opportunity which I was really counting on. Not sure whether I'm the right fit for them, but if that were the case, then they would not have allowed me to proceed with the other tests - so I'm hanging on to that hope.

I have this habit of replaying all the embarrassing things I said or did in my mind. In one of the instances, this was the small talk that occurred while waiting for another person to join us:

A: You look very different from your photo.
me: ...*blank* ... so do I look better or worse?? hahahaha
A: *laughs and doesn't answer*

I cringe every time I recall this. I really don't know why I always joke stupidly when I'm nervous (and such a time when I am trying to make a good impression). I told my colleague about what I said and she couldn't believe I actually said that! I just hope he doesn't think I'm trying to fish for a compliment! Oh well, too late to do anything about it anyway. Que sera sera.

I guess I'll be getting the verdict from all the opportunities in 1-2 weeks time. Till then.

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