I wake up and there's a car blocking my house entrance, this is a letter I'd like to (but didn't) leave on the offensive car windshield!

Dear car owner,

While trying to drive MY car out of MY house, I found that MY gate was blocked by YOUR car. Upon honking countless times, there seem to be no human being laying claim to the obstructive car. So now I'll proceed in helping you to understand your mistakes and point out possible solutions if this situation was to happen to you again in the future. Think of this letter as a community service.

Firstly, please don't flatter yourself that your car is big and long, because it isn't - it's just a marroon proton wira aeroback! not a humvee or limo, mind you! Plus there is plenty of space behind where you could easily park your car without blocking anybody's gate. A simple effort of reversing your car by a mere 2 feet would have avoided you from receiving this cordial insult! After all, how much petrol would you save from not reversing your car? I'm sure that a cow's flatulence would have made an even bigger effect on global warming than the exhaust fumes from your car (as a result of reversing it by 2 feet). So there's no reason for you to be environmentally defensive with me (although anyone would smell it out as just an alibi to get yourself off the hook).

If in any case you couldn't find a place to park without offending strangers, you could consider parking in front of your host's gate - after all, he/she is the one who invited you, NOT ME!!! So please refrain from torturing me with your presence.

I feel really sorry for your incorrigible driving skills. I blame the driving schools for not equiping you with the knowledge of reversing your car and also your kindergarten teacher who could not teach you morals and ethics. Perhaps you could remedy this by consuming cow dung as maybe that would give you a little bit of cow sense. Besides it's still new year, so maybe you should consider starting it as anything but a selfish halfwit.

Good luck in your future parking endeavours. I sincerely hope that you have seen (through this letter) my good intentions for the betterment of your mind and driving skills!

Have a good day and remember it's never too late to learn something new!

Signed,
A neighbour who's out to irradicate imbecility amongst Malaysians.

P.S: I do not think that this will offend you, as I have refrained from using any harsh or swear words in this letter. Enjoy!