Today

Today.
Today I'm breaking my rule of keeping things impersonal here.
Today I'm surprised by perceptions I've made. Humbled that my breaking point is seen as performance.
Things I thought were deserved were not up to par. Whereas things I thought I'd failed at were the highlights.
Surprise me more, my Lord.

Today for the umpteenth time, I'm coming back to the same conclusion. Like the fool on the hill.
It is me and not you. But it is killing me still.
Maybe some things in life, we need to give up on. And maybe this is it.
A door meant to be closed will eventually be closed?
Surprise me more, my Lord.

A promise I made early this year.
But progress has stagnated and accountability lies in a few days' time.
A mid year review. Another six months of second chance.
How can I make up? Forget the distraction and move into the right channel.
Open my eyes and heart to people after your heart.
Surprise me more, my Lord.